Hi! Bonjour! Hola!
For more than a month, I’ve been sharing my summer holiday stories. I still have some but this week, I feel like sharing about the lessons I learned during the trip with you.
Yes, behind those exciting travel photos and stories, I learned a lot of things.
This blog isn’t a diary, so I won’t disclose any name or be detailed with what happened for privacy purposes.
I’m writing this in hope that you get something, even if it’s just one thing. Either it’s a situation that resonates with you or something that could be useful in the future.
Alright, so here they are:
1. Intelligence Takes You Far, but EQ Makes You Happy
So many unexpected things happened to me during my summer holiday, including this one. I never thought that I would meet someone that made me lost my composure.
I’m the “all-over-your-face” type of person but there was one time when I literally blew up, after countless times telling myself to calm down.
From this person, I learned that intelligence without EQ (emotional intelligence) makes people miserable.
Sure, intelligence would land you high-paying jobs and a comfortable life. But if it isn’t balanced with EQ, you’ll constantly offend others.
The saddest part is, you think that people are annoying, they don’t understand you and are mean to you, when in reality they are reacting to how you behave.
Without a decent EQ, you won’t realise that…
- There’s a better way to tell others if you feel uncomfortable discussing a certain topic while eating, rather than shouting
- People aren’t slaves that you can
orderbark around, especially for something that you can do yourself easily (i.e using Siri or Google) - Just because you’re younger/older, it’s not a privilege to take something from others. Especially when you don’t ask nicely
- It’s not others’ fault when you’re travelling without carrying your phone charger and have no internet, then (unfortunately) get lost because of miscommunication
- Some things are they way they are. You’re not a president, don’t expect people to make exceptions for you
Yes, you can life comfortably with money. But what’s the point of living when you often feel miserable?
2. Keep Calm and Put a Poker Face
When that person shouted in the restaurant, I was the only one who didn’t bother hiding my disapproval. It was all over my face and action.
When that person barked at someone to find an answer (in front of everyone and the hotel’s manager), my jaws dropped with disbelief.
I always wondered how the rest did it. They were so calm, handled things like queens and kings. From this experience, I knew that I had to be more mature like them.
When it’s necessary to keep the harmony because you’ll still be seeing that person for the next few days, keep calm and put a poker face.
Also read: “Brussels Trip and Classy, Sassy, Moxy Hotel”
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3. The Unspoken, the Acceptance, and Letting Go
I got to know how old he was. I was shocked (“Whaaat?!!”).
He got to know how old I was. He was gobsmacked (yeah I noticed it, especially when he moved his chair further).
The intense silence between us. The lone time we took to sort things out of our minds.
I could be wrong, but this was how I felt. Maybe it was just me…
I knew that it was 2022 and we all should apply the lessons from the book “The Art of Not Giving a F*ck”. But sometimes when I looked at him, I couldn’t help but thought of my younger self.
The early 20s me, ready to explore the world. He had a lot to learn about himself, so many things to experience…
All that prime years to shape his personality and career. I felt like I would be a hindrance…
A part of me told me that the feeling was temporary and it would pass. I was always attracted to older men, I needed a mature man, it was the thrill of the summer holiday, we didn’t know each other well…
So, just cherish the moment and see where life would take us. Maybe in the future, we would meet again.
On the last night of my holiday, I was so emo so I texted my friend.
Me: “Do you ever date or like a woman older than you?” #firingrandomquestion
Him: “Yes I have lol. Older ladies are sensual.”
Me: 👀👀 “Thank you on behalf of all older women!” #club31
Him: “Yeah you don’t look older than him for sure.”
After all these years of crushing on older men, I finally had this experience. This time, I was the older woman. Life is so unexpected…
Please grow up well, until we meet again xxx
4. I Have More Than One Personality
Now, don’t freak out. I’m not a crazy sociopath in the movies, who switches between one personality to another.
I was chatting with a wise guy when he asked me,
Him: “So, which one is the real you? The Travel you or the You in Daily Life?
Me: “Hmm… I think it’s the me when travelling. Because I always like to dress up and experience many things, but I couldn’t do that in my daily life.”
Him: “I only have one. What you see is me when I’m working and not working.”
That’s nice… The conversation made me asked myself why I couldn’t live the Travel Me daily.
You know, those articles that suggest you to meditate in the morning and get to know yourself better… I couldn’t believe that I had that moment during my summer holiday, thanks to that guy.
I pondered on that questions and found the answers:
- As I always take public transportation to the office, I feel I don’t have to doll up (also, for safety reasons)
- In the office, I prefer to use eyeglasses because contact lens will make my eyes dry due to starring at the screen for hours. The problem is, I look so different with and without my eyeglasses 😅
- I have a ‘mode’ for everything — the ‘get-it-done’ mode when working, the carefree fashionista when travelling, the flirty mode when dating, etc…
- I’m limiting myself from treating myself much so I could fund my travels, pay my bills, and invest
In short, the Travel Me is doing everything that I couldn’t do in daily life because of some limitations.
I could wear anything that I wanted during the holiday, spent money without worry because it’s the budget that I had saved for the trip.
I could wear my contact lens all day because I wouldn’t stare at the screen for hours.
But guess what? I’m not the only one who has more than one personality! This Washington Post article says that travel gives you a chance to be someone else for a while.
Think about it… If you get a ticket to The Burning Man festival, would another side of you pop out? It could be your only chance to dye your hair and wear the crazy costume that you always admire.
Does it mean you have more than one personality? Or you’re just restraining some parts of yourself, waiting for the perfect timing, like myself?
I feel that everyone has more than one side of them. That’s why it’s good to get to know someone better — be it in friendship, career, or relationship.
Also read: “From Montmartre, with Love”
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5. In Love: Pay Attention to His/Her Actions
The video above is too funny and thankfully, I didn’t experience the pant-less moment 🤣🤣🤣 Today, what Matthew mentions as “MPI” is called “breadcrumbing”.
So, I met a guy on Tinder in my early 20s then we stopped talking. Before my summer holiday this year, suddenly we started talking again.
I saw some red flags but I was hoping that this time, it may work out. Plus, the horoscope predictions that I read online were aligned with my situation.
All of them saying things like ‘he was deeply hurt and were still recovering’, ‘a fling that could turn into something more’, blah blah blah…
Screw them. I should have followed my gut and run away. But silly me was still texting him during the summer holiday.
It took one person to make me realised that I deserved someone much better.
She wasn’t even my close friend or family, she’s a friend that I met on holiday. But I didn’t know why, her words became my turning point.
So I decided to test him. After I landed in Malaysia, I stopped texting him.
Two weeks passed and he didn’t text or call me. He didn’t ask me out, although it would be around three months since we last met.
It hurt knowing that he wasn’t that into me, but I moved on.
It doesn’t matter if he was hurt badly in the past or had other reasons for his behaviour, I didn’t want to play angels.
I didn’t want to fix anyone or hope that someone would change. The ‘fixing job’ should be done from the inside — by that person himself. How could someone trust and love again before completely healed?
Then one day, he re-appeared.
He liked my social media posts (I’d blocked him). He purposely parked his new luxury car, VALET PARKED, in front of my office building’s entrance.
I was very sure that the car was his because that vintage model was exactly the one that he said he had bought. The car was a super rare model, especially in Malaysia, and had to be shipped from overseas.
In addition, I roughly knew the cars that were usually vallet parked in my office, and I never saw that model until that day. It was too much to be a coincidence.
I was stunned for a while, then “bye-like-I-care”. A few days later, it happened again.
A different car model, vallet parked in front of my office’s entrance. It was the model that he told me he wanted to pick me up with, if we didn’t meet on the weekends.
The second time stunned me even more. I couldn’t believe he would go that far… FOR WHAT??? So I would give him attention??
When we were matched on Tinder years ago, I didn’t know that he was rich until the 2nd time we met.
But him being rich had nothing to do with my life, my job security, and travel plans. Zero. Null.
I wasn’t aware of this red flag — him casually price tag-dropping when we talked. When someone who really likes you happens to be rich, normally he/she would do the opposite.
I wondered if he ever realised that whenever he did it, I was delighted knowing that he was doing well. I was happy for him.
And the things that made me really happy were when we cried while watching an amazing, based on true story movie; when he rested his head on my lap, when he drove me home at night although he had to wake up super early the next day…
Doing well financially + no real actions + no trust + attention-seeker = ☠️
Doing well financially + real actions + trust + caring + humble = 💖
Around two weeks after the ‘car show’, he sent me a good morning text. I sent him a closure 😏
Ladies, don’t hesitate to cut toxic people fast. Run far, far away…!! Still not sure? Watch Matthew’s 2nd video:
Alright, those are the five things that I learned during my summer holiday. I hope you find this blog post insightful, or at least entertaining 😁
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