As many are struggling because of the pandemic, I feel it’s time to write this article. For those who are struggling financially, especially the sandwich generation, I hope the post this week can ease your burden — even if it’s just a little.
This blog post is inspired by two powerful women: my mother and Henny Kristianus, an Indonesian public figure. Thank you so much for the impactful speech… And now it’s my turn to share it with others.
Sandwich generation
A generation of people, typically in their thirties or forties, responsible both for bringing up their own children and for the care of their aging parents (Oxford Languages)
If You’re Single… Prioritise Your Parents
For single people, it’s recommended to prioritise your parents (and siblings).
It must be really hard if your parents aren’t doing well financially, plus if you have any siblings. Keep doing your best but remember to take good care of yourself. After all, you won’t be able to earn money if you fall sick.
If your siblings are also working, everyone should contribute to support the parents. It may not be fair to make it 50/50 considering the salary gap and other factors, therefore, it’s best to discuss it with your siblings.
If your parents are wealthy, it’s not an excuse to not give them any money. If giving them money feels awkward, perhaps it could be in the form of gifts, treating them to nice meals, or taking them for a holiday.
But remember, them being used to the finest things in life doesn’t mean that your gift has to match their lifestyle. Give within your means.
The takeaway: prioritise your parents but remember that you’re also important. Support them without sacrificing yourself (for example, you also need to save some money for retirement/emergency).
Dear parents: your children aren’t your investment or retirement fund. You may send them to the best university but it doesn’t mean that they owe you. Please don’t give them pressure, especially if they’re married.
If You’re Married… Prioritise Your Family
Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
In one of her videos, Henny Kristianus shared that a heartbroken woman came to her for guidance because her hubby didn’t give her any money as he’s financially supporting his parents and siblings.
It’s very important to remember that when you decided to get married, you are responsible for your spouse and children (if any). They should be your #1 priority, not your parents and siblings.
Did you know that money is one of the top reasons for divorce? Therefore, it’s essential to have an honest discussion with your partner before you tie the knot, for example:
- if your parents are depending on you financially
- if you need to support any family member’s education, medication, etc
- if you want to have a child
- to buy or rent a place
- any outstanding loan
- any dream/goal that requires some money
The takeaway: prioritise your family but don’t neglect your parents’ basic needs.
Blogger’s opinion: if you feel there’s too much pressure, don’t get married. Or, get married sans children. Work to live and enjoy life, don’t be trapped in a hamster wheel!
What About Tithe or Donations?
Although it’s written in the Bible that thy shall give 10% of earnings to the church, we need to look deeper into real-life situations. I too had questions about this, but thanks to Henny, it’s all clear now.
If it’s possible for you to give 10% of your earnings to the church, please do.
If you have many financial commitments, give within your means. Did you know that taking care of your parents is considered giving back to God?
Personally, I don’t give back 10% to the church… But I give some to my parents and a little bit to the church & charity organisations. I’m so grateful that my parents aren’t demanding although they’re not wealthy…
Alright, that’s it for this week. I hope this post helps.
Stay strong and have a wonderful day!
Also read: “Henny Kristianus: What Does God Say About Destiny?”
Also read: “Digital Detox Trip: Nature Edition in Raja Ampat, Indonesia”
Also read: “How “Begpackers” Make Me Feel Grateful for My Powerless Passport”
