You Need to Stop Judging How Female Solo Travellers Fund Their Trips

People need to stop judging how female solo travellers fund their trips because it’s none of their business.

By this time, I guess you’ve read some news about female solo travellers getting raped or killed while travelling. Some people blame the victims for travelling alone (yes, it’s not just about the funding).

An article published in 2016 by The Guardian “Why is Travelling Alone Still Considered a Risky, Frivolous Pursuit for Women?” discusses a very interesting topic about double standards for female solo travellers. 

Besides sexual violence and gender inequality, let me add one more double standard on female solo travellers: how we fund the trips.

People often praise male solo travellers for their adventurous personalities. If they’re executives, the more countries they visit, they seem to be more successful in their careers. On the other hand, female solo travellers with decent jobs like me invite more assumptions than praises.

I learned it the hard way during my first solo trip to Turkey, four years ago.

Judgment from Others

My then-colleague asked me if it was a family trip and I said that I would be travelling alone on a tour. He then asked who paid for the trip and when he knew that I did, he didn’t believe it. He said there must be someone who sponsored me.

At that time, I was 23 and didn’t really understand what he meant. I had no ill-feeling for whatever meaning behind his smile. All I felt was joy because finally, the money that I’d saved for years allowed me to travel overseas.

On the other hand, female solo travellers with decent jobs like me invite more assumptions than praises.

The confusion came to light during the trip. One morning when I joined a family for breakfast, the mother asked what I did for a living. When I told her that I was a marketing executive in the luxury watch industry, she sneered that women who worked in the industry wanted to snag high profile men.

I was stunned. I finally understood what it was all about.

My chest was burning yet I tried to keep calm. I laughed it off and told her if such a man came into my life, I would be a very lucky woman.

Solo Female Travellers are Promiscuous?

And so, I thought I’d passed all the “storm”, but apparently not. Since I was the only solo traveller in the group, I often engaged in conversations with my tour leader, a man in his early 50s. I enjoyed talking to him because he could explain more about the history of the places we visited, plus some health tips (he’s living a very healthy lifestyle).

Then a woman who came with her daughter and husband asked me if I was sharing a room with the tour leader.

My jaw dropped. What the fudge?

Words, my friend, do cut deeper than a knife.

I explained to her that as a solo traveller, I needed to pay extra because the tour had to book rooms solely for me. I thought that was enough to explain the situation.

Also read: “Tony Robbins’ Investing Rules of Thumb – Simplified”

However, every time I tried to play or talk to her little daughter, she would stare at me and pulled her daughter away as if I was a bad influence. I couldn’t express in words how hurting that was.

I mended my heart and since that day, I don’t bother what other people think of how I fund my trips.

I keep on travelling and the more I travel, the more I meet open-minded people. They are the ones who truly enjoy travelling and encourage solo travellers, regardless of gender or occupation, to never stop travelling. 

They ask us what we do for a living, but the question of how we fund our trips is never brought up. There’s no judgement when we engage in conversations with strangers, regardless of gender, age and race.

They see solo travellers as curious human beings who dig into their wanderlust – male or female.

I keep on travelling and the more I travel, the more I meet open-minded people. They are the ones who truly enjoy travelling and encourage solo travellers, regardless of gender or occupation, to never stop travelling.

While writing this article, I remember an interesting experience with a famous Indonesian blogger, Trinity.

In the chapter of “I’m Just a Lucky Bastard!” of her first 2007 book, she shared that her male online friend surprised her by purchasing her flight tickets to Texas and Puerto Rico.

They were just chatting buddies, barely knew each other and never met!

Whether we fork out our own savings to fund the trips or got funded by parents, partners or someone else, it’s time for people to stop judging solo female travellers on how we fund our trips.

Some travellers work hard for it while some get lucky. Doesn’t it work in life too?

A dream is a wish your heart makes yet your will to make it come true. A little luck along the way is much appreciated!

Also read: “Wanderlust, Behind the Scene”